The man in this cologne ad
Trying to tell me
That I could smell
As good as he looks.

He fucking smells like date rape.
The handsome man fucking smells
like date rape.
Or like 15th street,
Take your fucking pick.


Some girl wearing JNCOS
Trying to tell me
That she understands my generation?

I fucking hate those pants
And I hate the people who wear them.

Except the Indian girl who asked
If I were Jewish because
She was Jewish because
That girl told me that
Electronica is really just
“Dancing to your two favorite songs at the same time,”
And then I saw how she danced
And I believed her.


A model’s tight dress
Helping me choose
The color of my cellphone?
I don’t even want a fucking
Why would I want
To ever fucking listen
To some fucking douchebag
Talk to his fucking mother?
Shit I hate those fucking things.


I might be a football star
If I ate the official chip
of the Fiesta Bowl?

I’m a basketball star,
Go fuck yourself.

Oh shit, your chips are round,
Big fucking whoop.


“Even A Communist Can Smoke”
Winston Cigarettes?
Communists roll their own,
Go fuck yourself
Unless you come to
Larry’s and have me
Fill out one of those forms
So that then you can hand
The communist
60 factory mades with filters.
But yeah, go fuck yourself.


Someone’s trying to sell me something
Everywhere I go.
But I already got all that I need.
Someone’s trying to tell me something
I don’t want to hear and
I don’t want to feed The Greed.

I Know You


I know your kind.

You are the type of pearl
Who has trouble
Making up her mind.

You’re a truly sad girl,
Aren’t you?

I always fall for sad, sad girls.


Why do you hide your face from them
When you cry?
Don’t you know
It’s lovely when you cry?
They say truly sad, sad girls
Look their best
When their make-up is a mess
And you are nothing if not
A truly sad, sad girl.


I know you.
I saw you play a homeless guy
In a musical.

And that’s not the only thing I saw.

I saw when you stopped suffering
For South Africa.


I know you.
You’re gonna be the only one
At your funeral.

And you’re not the only thing I know.

You know, they’re having a heck of a time
In West Everywhere.
Maybe you should go?


“Why did you give me twenty dollars?”
“Because I am on your side. And I need to get to Walgreens.”
“I rode my bike from all the way downtown and your the first person who would talk with me. I got to tell you man, I was thinking about ending my life.”
“That’s always the wrong choice. Come up here on the sidewalk, the bus is coming. Do you believe in God’s grace?”


“Put your hand on my chest like this. Spell ‘push’.”
“What does that stand for?”
“I don’t know.”
“Pray until something happens.”


“I see some blue lights up here.”
“I’m glad you said that.”
“All right let’s keep talking. We take this left and then we’ll get up to Argyle and I’ll show you how to get to the lake.”
“I told you I’m from California, right?”
“Yeah. And so I was thinking of stopping by this Vietnamese smoothie place on my way to Walgreens, I just noticed it the other day and so I got a mango smoothie but they have a really huge menu and there are definitely a few things I have to try, I hope it’s still open.”


“I’m telling you, I know you’ll be safe if you cross here, ride up Winthrop, through the playground south of Foster, and then take a right at Bryn Mawr, take it to the lake shore bike trail, it’ll be smooth sailing as far south as you need to go. Couple Metra stops on the way, Red Line all the way down to 95th and buses south from there. You’ll have a lot of options.”
“Stay here on this corner and talk with me. So what you think of this election?”
“Mr. Chump?”
“I like you, man.”
“I’m holding out for high crimes, misdemeanors, and hung by the neck until dead.”
“All right man, thank you again. You don’t know what you just did for me. I’m really grateful, man. Like I told you, I just got out, I’m living with my wife again, I got my job at the Hyatt, and there are people who could kill me for what I did, and I didn’t do nothing wrong. Bring it in.”



You will be given a box containing ten squares of mirrored glass to take home.
You will make a small pile of hay bales in your garage.
You will take the mirrored squares one by one and position them in the center of the small pile of hay bales.
You will find a spot in the garage from which you can look yourself in the eye by way of the squares of mirrored glass.
You will throw a knife at your reflection, right between the eyes.
You will assemble the shards of mirrored glass into the shape of a horse.
You will cover this assemblage with a tarpaulin and await further instructions.

This Joke

As we move ever nearer to Mutual Assured Destruction,
Through the smoke one thought remains clear:
We felt something true under false assumptions,
And that was enough for a while.
Except now we see that this joke
Ain’t the kind to make you smile.

Good is in Words

We are conscious of pain,
And that pain is called “consciousness.”
Look around you, this place is held in place
With pain.

Open a book, open a door,
Room after room and page after page of
Rococo-broke boned cages and hearts
Bathed in blood.

One times one equals one.
This is the story of the family.

“Boys can you please get your fists to curl up into your laps instead of pounding on each other’s sternums already today please?”