1997

The man in this cologne ad
Trying to tell me
That I could smell
As good as he looks.

He fucking smells like date rape.
The handsome man fucking smells
like date rape.
Or like 15th street,
Take your fucking pick.

**********

Some girl wearing JNCOS
Trying to tell me
That she understands my generation?

I fucking hate those pants
And I hate the people who wear them.

Except the Indian girl who asked
If I were Jewish because
She was Jewish because
That girl told me that
Electronica is really just
“Dancing to your two favorite songs at the same time,”
And then I saw how she danced
And I believed her.

********

A model’s tight dress
Helping me choose
The color of my cellphone?
I don’t even want a fucking
“CELLPHONE?”
Why would I want
To ever fucking listen
To some fucking douchebag
Talk to his fucking mother?
Shit I hate those fucking things.

********

I might be a football star
If I ate the official chip
of the Fiesta Bowl?

I’m a basketball star,
Go fuck yourself.

Oh shit, your chips are round,
Big fucking whoop.

********

“Even A Communist Can Smoke”
Winston Cigarettes?
Communists roll their own,
Go fuck yourself
Unless you come to
Larry’s and have me
Fill out one of those forms
So that then you can hand
The communist
60 factory mades with filters.
But yeah, go fuck yourself.

*********

Someone’s trying to sell me something
Everywhere I go.
But I already got all that I need.
Someone’s trying to tell me something
I don’t want to hear and
I don’t want to feed The Greed.