H. Van Pattenneconne

hemet california, part of the inland empire (david lynch film which makes me insane), located on the 33rd parallel, and with a name similar to emet, the hebrew name for truth…if you remove the aleph, cantor’s symbol of infinity, it becomes “met” or death. this is all explained in the legends of the golem, and I drew a picture in my notebook once of such a thing, saying that hell has a human face.

mean the guests, to stay away from the oven. Tell them to put their empties in the sink and we’ll get to them. Tell them to leave the fridge closed when we are dicing. Tell them to collect their belongings from between the sink and the oven after the knife is no longer in my hands and the cutting board is free of uncooked ingredients. If you want to speak with the owner or the executive chef, don’t come to him, he’ll come to you. At your table. When he gets the chance. First the line has to assemble your plate, then the server has to put it on their tray, then the server has to weave in between all the other servers and all the other guests and set it down in front of you. Then you can start putting it in your mouth with your hands. Don’t put your hands on the server. The server does not put their hands on your food, the line cooks do that. If you put your mouth or your hands on the food, it means that it can’t go back to the back of the house. If you don’t like your baked potato, we will make you another one. If you want your dressing on the side, we will throw away your salad, put fresh greens in a clean bowl, and bring it out to you with a ramekin of dressing.

mean the guests, to stay away from the oven. Tell them to put their empties in the sink and we’ll get to them. Tell them to leave the fridge closed when we are dicing. Tell them to collect their belongings from between the sink and the oven after the knife is no longer in my hands and the cutting board is free of uncooked ingredients. If you want to speak with the owner or the executive chef, don’t come to him, he’ll come to you. At your table. When he gets the chance. First the line has to assemble your plate, then the server has to put it on their tray, then the server has to weave in between all the other servers and all the other guests and set it down in front of you. Then you can start putting it in your mouth with your hands. Don’t put your hands on the server. The server does not put their hands on your food, the line cooks do that. If you put your mouth or your hands on the food, it means that it can’t go back to the back of the house. If you don’t like your baked potato, we will make you another one. If you want your dressing on the side, we will throw away your salad, put fresh greens in a clean bowl, and bring it out to you with a ramekin of dressing.

“Something wonderful happened to me. I was transported into the seventh heaven. All the gods sat there in assembly. By special grace I was accorded the favour of a wish. ‘Will you,’ said Mercury, ‘have youth, or beauty, or power, or a long life, or the prettiest girl, or any other of the many splendours we have in our chest of knick-knacks? So choose, but just one thing.’ For a moment I was at a loss. Then I addressed myself to the gods as follows: ‘Esteemed contemporaries, I choose one thing: always to have the laughter on my side.’ Not a single word did one god offer in answer; on the contrary they all began to laugh. From this I concluded that my prayer was fulfilled and that the gods knew how to express themselves with taste, for it would hardly have been fitting gravely to answer, ‘It has been granted you.’” from “Either/Or: A Fragment of Life (Penguin Classics)” by Soren Kierkegaard, Victor Eremita, Alastair Hannay

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