Poor History Inn

In the early days of Instatoots, characters were developed based on historic figures of madness, for instance Judge Schreiber. There was a case of someone who “inherited” the Judge Schreiber role, and used it to remain in the Tooter Rink for more than 20 years. His life became an improvised theological monologue, and the Tooter Rink workers also became stuck, having to spend precious time responding to his performance with the same old Uppers, Downers, Sleepers and Command cards. Finally, a group of workers successfully lobbied for a rules change – everybody had to be a “new” character, though in practice this meant a proliferation of iterations of well-established types.

Tooter Rink management met with industrial psychology consultants to develop an intake questionnaire designed to frame an understanding of each new headcase which would be intelligible to both Rink workers and the headcases themselves. If a player arrived at Tooter Rink Intake with an underdeveloped headcase, a well-defined avatar would effectively be created as a function of the intake process. The questionnaire, in trying to identify the complexities of each headcase, had the effect of creating complexities in each headcase. Because the intake process was “unusual” and therefore memorable, these idiosyncratic symptoms were remarkably stable over time.

One of the Instatooters hacked into UBTL’s hot mikes. He used the dialog for his symptom of being a hyperverbal logorrheic.

Instatooters 97: Everyone played their own headcase.
Instatooters 2000: People started hiring people to play their headcase for them.
Instatooters 2020: Players program automatons to be their headcases.

Players watch in the stands, tooters toot in the roller rink.

The goal of the game is to be discharged. {no one is discharged on weekends}
Upon release, most players head to Lev’s Ledge for a cheeseburger.

The more symptoms a headcase has, the more weight is added to the value of a quick discharge.

The progress of the game through the years has given the time between admission and discharge the weight of milestones like the 4-minute mile or the 10-second hundred yard dash.

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